Friday, August 29, 2008

Go Buddy Go!

Nothing really to update about...and I only posted that picture of Sadie smelling Pantera's bum to get you in the mood for dogs.

Anyway, just now on my way home from work I saw pure awesomeness! Right "downtown" (in front of the Northern) there was 3 dogs in the middle of the road, and then they all started seriously scrapping! What made it so remarkably awesome (as opposed to awesome) was that everyone was just clearing out of work (5pm) so everyone simultaneously stopped and were crowded on the sides of the road watching! A few people even yelled out cheers! "Go Buddy! Take em!!". And to top it all off, I know for a fact that one of the dogs involved in this scrap is actually named "Buddy". How could you possibly describe that situation with any other word besides "awesome"?? That's what I thought.

As for the long weekend, I'm hopping on a float plane tomorrow morning to fly out to a wedding for the weekend! yeeehawww! Have a....hard-working (?) Labour Day weekend!

All the dogs appeared to emerge OK from the scrap. In fact, Buddy even followed me home! We're friends.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Danger is the new boring...

I think it's just because I haven't lived in the North long enough, but I still (quite often) run across situations or things up here that strike me as distinctly "weird". The funny thing is, nobody else seems to notice, which makes it even more weird.
Take for example: Over the past couple of weeks there's been a large number of Grizzlies in and around Simpson. Which, for one thing, shatters my understanding that this is supposed to be a fort (after all, it is called "Fort" Simpson).

We have a kick ass moat (the McKenzie River surrounds the island of Fort Simpson), and then we have the first line of defence on the edge of town, the trailer park, followed by the bottleneck of the causeway, and last (but certainly not least) the heavily armoured Fort Simpson Visitors Centre. But even still these bears (which have no doubt been sent from hell or by a super villain) managed to impregnate the defenses and run wild all over the island. I just realized I've gone off on a bit of tangent. Sorry. But I can't help it! Now that I think about it, just about every place I've lived I've given at least several minutes' thought to how we would defend the community against an attack. Hey! I just thought of something else, seeing as how Fort Simpson is classified as a village, I have now lived in a city (Halifax), a town (Windsor), a village (Ft. Simpson), and a delicious hamlet (Ft. McPherson).
Hey! I need to work on staying on topic...

Right, so back to daaa bears. They've been prowling all over Simpson, and they've been scattin' all over the place! (and no, not in the "bee-bop-badoodaadoooo" sense unfortunately)
There has even been 2 bears shot right in town, one across the road from the health clinic!
So there's been live bear traps setup all over the place, such as this one:

(You can almost sense the identity crisis that the trap must be going through. "I just absolutely love this camouflage paint job! Ohh but I do really think this florescent tape and bright warning sign are simply fabulous! What to do...what to do....oh heck, why not both!")


No wait! Don't leave! I promise I'll get to the I was saying, bears everywhere! Now if I was in NS I know this would be a major crisis, lots of panic and whatnot. But as far as I can tell, nobody seems to notice besides the occasional "I dunno, I guess I might tie my dog up tonight, that bear is still around town isn't it?"
What I have heard lots of people commenting on during this same time period is the return of T.V. bingo! But can you really blame everyone for going nuts about that? hmm?
O.K., I don't think you heard me: T.V. BINGO !!! turns out I didn't really have a point after about that.... Weeeeelllll... time to hit the dusty trail.....*dives through window*

I am aware that bears can swim, but to sleep at night I have blocked this knowledge out of my mind. I recommend you do the same unless you want to continue living in a world of fear!

That road sign at the top of this post is the actual sign posted as you drive out of Simpson. I like it! It kinda tells you: "All or Nothing! You either drive like a little girl and go to the airport...or you be a MAN and go all the way to Edmonton!"

Monday, August 25, 2008

Canada Post, you just made my list...

...list of people and/or organizations that I would hold a grudge against if I was the kind of person to make a list like that! But lucky for you, Canada Post, I am not that kind of a person.

There's a number of items I'm waiting for in the mail that have been taking weeks! I know that I'm in the North and all, but if it's gonna take this much longer for my crap to get here then the least they could do is put an asterisk beside my expected delivery date! And then at the bottom of the page they could have a little legend that explains:
* = Where the hell are you? You're where!? Ha! Oh man, you are gonna wait and wait and wait for this sucker. And you can even call us and we'll tell you it'll be there tomorrow and make you open up your little P.O. Box and then weep and whimper as you see it's still not there...and there's nothing you can do about it! What's that? You want to use Fedex or UPS? Nice try, even I, a webpage, knows that they won't take your sorry little package way up there. We're your only option! haaaahaaaaaahaaaaamwahahahahah
(and the maniacal laughter continues for some time after)

And as a final slap in the face to me, the CP people on the phone keep referring me to Online Shipment Tracking. On it, you can conveniently see the exact date, location, and time of your package being picked up and processed at various locations throughout Canada, only to have it eventually arrive in Edmonton where it will sit...sit...sit...sit...and then eventually, one day long into your future (you know, like once your kids start thinking your crazy cause you keep mumbling about something you bought back before they were born), the package magically arrives in your P.O. Box!

I should mention though, I heard from a friend of a friend's Dog Sled trainer's half brother that they once received a package in 4 day one time! Throughout the North it is known as The Legend of the Online Shopping Package That Arrived in Four Days. Of course it's just Dene Folklore. But interestingly enough, the myth also resides in Inuit story telling circles as well...

I'll keep you updated on the status of my package...*snicker*

Sunday, August 24, 2008

My whole world has been turned upside down...

Ok this post isn't an update so much as it is earth-shattering news. So get this, apparently, APPARENTLY, the higher ups at Kraft Foods have decided to start marketing a new brand of peanut butter. 100% Natural Peanut Butter (or NPB as it will be known from here on). I was not expecting to be challenged to the extent I was when I went to the Northern yesterday to restock on PB. Regular good ol' Smooth Peanut Butter for me thanks. You know, the green one. It's my bread and (peanut) butter! I don't like to stray into other manufacturers or types, except for that time I forayed into the world of Crunchy Peanut Butter, but that's a whole other story in itself.
So after much deliberation deciding between my smooth PB and the NPB, I took the plunge. What a mistake that was! I slept in extra late today to make sure I had enough energy in store to fully appreciate my first experience with the new NPB.
(In unrelated matters, I also drank last night...)
I made sure to read the label extensively, cause I'll admit, the PB Naturale is not my forte. I noticed it mentioned something about some separation of peanut butter and oil is to be expected. Some? SOME? There was an effin swimming pool of this sick looking oil and pb mixture all over the place! So I stirred like a mad man but it made no real difference, except now there was a tub full of watery PB. As much as I wanted to throw down the NPB into the garbage and go on a cursing rampage, I had to restrain myself. For you see, I had paid $9 for this small tub of NPB so I am chained to it for life! I don't know what I'm going to do. I spilled peanut butter on me! I swear to god, if someone before today said the phrase "eww I spilled peanut butter all over me!" I would likely go all grammar nazi on them and say "Spill!? Ha! You can't spill peanut butter on yourself you stupid stupid person! You get it on yourself. Stop being so stupid."
But luckily I don't have to apologize to anyone today because I've never had that conversation with anyone. At least not sober.

If only I could find someone out there that would help dispose of this god forsaken product for me...hmm.....