Monday, August 25, 2008

Canada Post, you just made my list...


...list of people and/or organizations that I would hold a grudge against if I was the kind of person to make a list like that! But lucky for you, Canada Post, I am not that kind of a person.

There's a number of items I'm waiting for in the mail that have been taking weeks! I know that I'm in the North and all, but if it's gonna take this much longer for my crap to get here then the least they could do is put an asterisk beside my expected delivery date! And then at the bottom of the page they could have a little legend that explains:
* = Where the hell are you? You're where!? Ha! Oh man, you are gonna wait and wait and wait for this sucker. And you can even call us and we'll tell you it'll be there tomorrow and make you open up your little P.O. Box and then weep and whimper as you see it's still not there...and there's nothing you can do about it! What's that? You want to use Fedex or UPS? Nice try, even I, a webpage, knows that they won't take your sorry little package way up there. We're your only option! haaaahaaaaaahaaaaamwahahahahah
(and the maniacal laughter continues for some time after)

And as a final slap in the face to me, the CP people on the phone keep referring me to Online Shipment Tracking. On it, you can conveniently see the exact date, location, and time of your package being picked up and processed at various locations throughout Canada, only to have it eventually arrive in Edmonton where it will sit...sit...sit...sit...and then eventually, one day long into your future (you know, like once your kids start thinking your crazy cause you keep mumbling about something you bought back before they were born), the package magically arrives in your P.O. Box!

I should mention though, I heard from a friend of a friend's Dog Sled trainer's half brother that they once received a package in 4 day one time! Throughout the North it is known as The Legend of the Online Shopping Package That Arrived in Four Days. Of course it's just Dene Folklore. But interestingly enough, the myth also resides in Inuit story telling circles as well...

I'll keep you updated on the status of my package...*snicker*

3 comments:

April said...

Hmm - What a coincidence. Canada Post are on MY list of 'organisations who won't be getting a christmas card from me ever. Especially if I send it via Canada Post.'

Glad to see one of us is keeping up with a blog. I am now back in England and unemployed. So have no excuse. But I bet I could find one...

Your musings are as hilarious as ever :)

April

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

Alex said...

April! England? You? Musings!?! When did you head back yonder?

You know, Northern Lights season is coming very soon! Now that I'm even further south (while still being north) it's the perfect opportunity for you....just sayin'!