Thursday, August 28, 2008

Danger is the new boring...


I think it's just because I haven't lived in the North long enough, but I still (quite often) run across situations or things up here that strike me as distinctly "weird". The funny thing is, nobody else seems to notice, which makes it even more weird.
Take for example: Over the past couple of weeks there's been a large number of Grizzlies in and around Simpson. Which, for one thing, shatters my understanding that this is supposed to be a fort (after all, it is called "Fort" Simpson).

We have a kick ass moat (the McKenzie River surrounds the island of Fort Simpson), and then we have the first line of defence on the edge of town, the trailer park, followed by the bottleneck of the causeway, and last (but certainly not least) the heavily armoured Fort Simpson Visitors Centre. But even still these bears (which have no doubt been sent from hell or by a super villain) managed to impregnate the defenses and run wild all over the island. I just realized I've gone off on a bit of tangent. Sorry. But I can't help it! Now that I think about it, just about every place I've lived I've given at least several minutes' thought to how we would defend the community against an attack. Hey! I just thought of something else, seeing as how Fort Simpson is classified as a village, I have now lived in a city (Halifax), a town (Windsor), a village (Ft. Simpson), and a delicious hamlet (Ft. McPherson).
Hey! I need to work on staying on topic...

Right, so back to daaa bears. They've been prowling all over Simpson, and they've been scattin' all over the place! (and no, not in the "bee-bop-badoodaadoooo" sense unfortunately)
There has even been 2 bears shot right in town, one across the road from the health clinic!
So there's been live bear traps setup all over the place, such as this one:

(You can almost sense the identity crisis that the trap must be going through. "I just absolutely love this camouflage paint job! Ohh but I do really think this florescent tape and bright warning sign are simply fabulous! What to do...what to do....oh heck, why not both!")

...

No wait! Don't leave! I promise I'll get to the point...as I was saying, bears everywhere! Now if I was in NS I know this would be a major crisis, lots of panic and whatnot. But as far as I can tell, nobody seems to notice besides the occasional "I dunno, I guess I might tie my dog up tonight, that bear is still around town isn't it?"
What I have heard lots of people commenting on during this same time period is the return of T.V. bingo! But can you really blame everyone for going nuts about that? hmm?
O.K., I don't think you heard me: T.V. BINGO !!!

Hmm...it turns out I didn't really have a point after all....yeah....how about that.... Weeeeelllll... time to hit the dusty trail.....*dives through window*

P.S.
I am aware that bears can swim, but to sleep at night I have blocked this knowledge out of my mind. I recommend you do the same unless you want to continue living in a world of fear!


P.P.S.
That road sign at the top of this post is the actual sign posted as you drive out of Simpson. I like it! It kinda tells you: "All or Nothing! You either drive like a little girl and go to the airport...or you be a MAN and go all the way to Edmonton!"

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