Tuesday, September 9, 2008

So...tired.....must stay.....involved...in...community....*collapses and dies*

What can I say other than that I am beaaaaaaaaaaaaat! (speaking of beat, one thing I have not missed having readily available at the local grocer is beets. Man, does anyone really like those?)

As mentioned previously I have unknowingly committed myself to coaching both the soccer and bball teams at the high school. I have also let my stupid stupid male pride get in the way of just being a regular coach. What do I mean? Well, it should be no problem to facilitate 3 soccer practices a week in addition to my regular fitness/dog owner responsibilities, but for some reason I keep doing all the drills with the players, attempt to win every sprint, put extra effort into regularly humiliating the weaker players with verbal and physical taunts, etc etc. (You know, that whole "lead by example" mantra).
I would considering myself active, but by no means would I say I am any sort of fitness guru. I take Sadie running a couple times a week, lift weights a couple times a week, and do jack-shit all for the rest of my free time. (see: computer games and sleeping on couch)
And now, after a single, solitary week of soccer practices in addition to said routine, I am cooked! I don't know how many calories one is supposed to consume, but obviously I'm not there. Maybe I need to start adding vast quantities of lard to my diet. hmmm...
Even my office has turned against my body cause it seems like the hallway to the copier rooom that was once a measly 40 feet long has seemingly transformed itself into a 2 mile journey. Oh when will it stop! The humanity of it all!

/girly man rant

Does anyone know a good comeback for "You're the world's worst coach! You suck!"?
Any contributions are appreciated.


Mongoose said...

Don't worry, you'll get used to it. How much you need to eat, well, your body can't process more than 7000 calories a day anyway, but anything less than that should be fine.

Possible comebacks:
- well, you get what you pay for
- good trash talk, now let's channel that into (whatever they're practicing)
- and you're the worst team, but together we can work our butts off and become the best
- if you have the energy to backtalk you haven't done enough wind sprints yet
- I bet you can't scream that at the top of your lungs and run all the way around the field at the same time

What do I know, I never played sports.

And back to the dog house thing, yes, if you don't know what you're doing, it would be a waste of time and lumber. I don't know if Igloo can sell you a dog house already made, but I'd still call them first if I were you. They treat their product well, so you have a better chance it will survive shipping in one piece. If they can't, try True Value, and third try Home Hardware. IMO

Way Way Up said...

I hear you about the coaching. Last year I was coaching a couple teams and assisting with a 3rd. Its draining but has its rewarding moments as well. This year I cut it back to one team.

I still get unappreciated comments as well and I've been teaching and coaching here for 4 years now. So I know it can be frustrating at times.

Good luck.

Its nice to see another "fort" in the blogosphere. I started my career out in Fort Smith.