Sunday, December 7, 2008

Confessions of a pedestrian...

Let's get a few things out there:

It's cold outside.
It's slippery.
The entire length of the island of Fort Simpson is a little more than 3000m.
I only live about 500 metres from my work as the crow flies. Or about 750m as the man walks.
I have 2 feet.
I have a heartbeat.
I'm a sheep!

Keeping the above in mind...

Fort Simpson is a relatively active tend to see lots of pedestrians at any given time of the day. However, once the mercury starts dropping below -20C that number magically shrinks as a lot of people will retreat to the confines of their massive F-350s and Ram 3500s. I can't really blame's tough to even fake a smile or act like you're not experiencing an exorcism when you're walking down the sidewalk and a blast of -30C snow and wind hits you smack dab in the face. I too must admit guilt as I've been driving my (also needlessly oversized 5.7L V8 gas-guzzling) truck to work more than I'd like to admit.
To remedy this, I decided that I'd only let myself drive to work maybe once or twice a week, and even then, there would have to be other factors present for me to do so (such as having to get groceries that day or need to drive to the airport for work or whatever). Needless to say, even if I have absolutely nothing else required that day besides the straight drive to and from work, I've been known to quip: "fuck it! I'm driving anyway. Yeeeeehaaaaaaw!".

But back to being a responsible citizen of the Earth.
Whenever I do actually walk to work, it tends to go something like this:

"Good morning Mother Nature! Another beautiful day you have given us today don't you think? What a great day to be walking to work!"
*puffs out chest, gleefully strides down front steps*
"And now to continue placing one foot in front of the other in a continuous succession of movements that will allow me to make my way to my place of work! What a grea-"
*Passing truck stops*
"huh? Oh hey, no no, everything is alright, I decided to walk today! No really, everything is okay. No, my doctor did not recently recommend that I get more exercise..."
*Truck drives away slowly with driver giving a concerned look to our hero*
"hmmm that was awfully nice of him to stop, but he sure did look concerned. Anywho, where was I? Ah yes! Walking! La dee daaa!"
*Passing by truck stops*
"...Oh, good morning. No no, my truck is fine, I've just decided to walk to work today instead. Please, keep your money, my truck already has gas in it. But thanks for offering..."

or something like that anyway. I mean I think it's awesome that everyone in Simpson is that nice that they will offer rides to anyone and everyone at any given time of the day, but I also find it a bit ridiculous that nobody can accept that I chose under my own free will to walk to work that day! that I think about it, I'm positive I've done the same thing to other people that are walking to work too. Except that I usually throw out more expletives, ask them what they're trying to prove, and am more relentless in my demanding that they stop walking and let me give them a drive to work/home.
*palm to forehead*


Mongoose said...

If they're already driving their truck and you're walking to save the environment / gas / wear and tear rather than because you enjoy it, what's wrong with taking a ride?

Anonymous said...

"Please, keep your money, my truck already has gas in it. But thanks for offering..."
I don't remember you offering me any money for giving you a ride when it was -30oC