Monday, March 30, 2009

Was it something I did? Something I didn't do??...

So it would appear that Winter is quickly leaving me...

..and while I'm sure this news comes as a positive for most of you I can't help but get a little down as it will mean the end of one of my favourite seasons, right up there with Summer, Fall, and Spring.
I love the oneupsmanship that Winter brings here...(Did you hear it's -55 in Inuvik today?? Yeah well it was -60 with the windchill this morning in Yellowknife! Bah that's nothing, there's eleventy billion feet of snow on my roof right this moment!)
Oh sure, there's a bit of that here in the Summer months, but it doesn't quite have the same effect when you live at 62 degrees latitude. (Gawwwrsh! I heard it's gonna be +22C tomorrow! You think that's crazy?? With the humidity it'll feel like +27 today in Norman Wells!)
Yous sees whats I means....yes?


Unfortuantely, the warm weather brings one other thing...

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Betrayed by my closest friend...dairy!

I have only been home for a couple of hours but I already made a couple of (potentially) grave errors...

I got home, was dying for a bowl of cereal (what can I say, I'm a cheap date) so I poured a bowl, topped it up with milk from the fridge, and scarfed it down. Then I was still feeling hungry, so I ate a couple pods of yogurt (units? containers? storage receptacles?), and brewed some coffee. After I fixed my coffee up with some creamer from the fridge I slowly drank it...but noticed it had a funny hint of taste to it. By funny I of course mean rotten.
Of course, once I looked at what I was drinking I saw that the cream was all separated and floating in chunks in my coffee. *OOOOOOOOUUUEEEEEET* (my dry gagging noise)
After proclaiming a loud "WHAT THE", I ran downstairs and looked at the creamer...sure enough: expired a week ago. Then it hit me that I had already eaten 2 other dairy products since getting home. Yogurt? 4 days expired. Milk? Also 4 days expired. Eff me!

So far I'm only feeling a self induced queasiness...but I'm hoping I don't experience any non-voluntary queasiness in the next few hours.

I've said it before but now definitely warrants saying it again....

*OOOOOOOOUUUEEEEEET*

Travelling in the North or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love to Fly

I'm all back up in Simpsizzle! (sorry)

So I'm gonna be upfront with you and let you know that I didn't take any more pictures of the sights and sounds of Yellowknife. I didn't even really experience much of all that is Caribou Carnival. In my defense though...I did go down to Range Lake (the main area of events) on Friday afternoon and there wasn't much happening so I didn't stick around for very long. So NOW who's the big jerk huh? That's right, you are.

To summarize the week...it was great! I only feel half guilty about eating out all week because I even managed to go to the gym almost everyday, thanks to a week pass from my extremely generous girlfriend. (I am NOT sucking up...I don't think she even reads this! But just in case...hi...you're pretty.)
I tried to meet up with Megan of Snow Covered Hills for coffee but unfortunately she was too busy with pancakes. I'm not sure if she was eating them, making them, discussing them, or impersonating one....but I do know she was busy with pancakes. Next time!
This morning I went to the Explorer hotel for breakfast. How how nobody mentioned the many levels of awesomeness that is the breakfast buffet at the Explorer to me before?!!? I admit, it wasn't something you could go to every weekend (see: a tad pricey), but it was definitely a great venue for overindulging!

Anywho, fast forward to post-breakfast, and I made my way out to the airport for my flight home (again, thaaaaank you beautiful girlfriend! Again, not sucking up! Okay...so maybe I am.).
When I get to the check-in counter the people in front of my in line were both friends from Simpson. Then, 5 min later, another friend from Simpson gets into line behind me. We all check in, then go for coffee together at the restaurant, then all board the flight together. Upon arrival in Simpson, the airport is packed with lots of familiar faces...and then I realized that I hadn't made any transportation arrangements to get home from the Simpson airport (14km outside the island). But sure enough, in true north-like manner, I get offered a ride back into town with the airport staff, and get dropped off right at my front door! On the drive back in I discussed next weekend's basketball tournament with one of the staff, who conveniently enough, I am on a team with. Once I got back into Simpson, I went and picked up Sadie from some friends who were watching her (speaking of which, she escaped from their yard this weekend for a day! I made a couple of calls and changed my status on facebook and soon enough I had a half dozen sets of eyes on the lookout for me. But luckily she arrived in the dogsitters' driveway later that day. Cunning escape artist? Sort of...). I then went to the Northern to pick up some basic groceries and was asked by one of the Northern staff where I had been since I hadn't been in all week. I don't even know her name and I don't think she knows mine.
What's the point of this rambling, disjointed, and hard to read story?...

There's small towns, and then there's the North...Canada's biggest small town!

I love this place.

Friday, March 27, 2009

umm...Brownfork! No no I can do better...Teal Spatula!

Ola from the great city of Yellowknife!

I can't believe the week is almost done with...feel like I just got here. Unfortunately, my wallet doesn't have the same opinion. Overlander, despite being horrible overpriced most of the time, has become a great friend to me. We tell each other secrets!

My hotel room is huuuuuuuge, but to balance out this positive there is of course a smell of onions that lurks about it. Can't have your cake and eat it too I suppose?

Today is also the start of most of the Caribou Carnival events, as there's a civic holiday this afternoon for most people in town. Yippee!
For those wondering what the eff Caribou Carnival is...it's basically a week long winter carnival. The only thing I've participated in so far is hitting up Snowking's Ice Castle down on the lake. But daaaaamn that thing is kickass! I forgot to take my camera with me...so...uhh...no picsies...*cue disappointment horn*

In a more AWESOME note...my hotel room does have a bed! Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's right!...


TIME FOR ZE BED JUMPIITTTTIIIIES!:


Now with more girl!

Try our newest flavour: Anger!

and of course, your old favourite: Bad-photoshoppery!


and now I'm off to do some work...see you back in Simpson!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Make snowpants part of your everyday...

After spending the morning on the Up Here site, I came across this article about big ideas that would change the North...and while I don't agree with some of the ideas proposed, I definitely had to smile when I read this one:

Don’t turn southern
In an increasingly insipid world, the North must resist assimilation and trumpet its compelling quirks.

The Earth is shrinking fast. Big cultures are swallowing small ones. Regional dialects are dying, and local traditions are succumbing to global ones. Our complex planet is getting dulled and blunted. And the North is losing its Northern-ness.

Sure, it’s inevitable. Even in Old Crow and Lutselk’e and Grise Fiord, the Internet and airplanes make a sucking sound that tugs us toward mass culture. But just because we can’t win doesn’t mean we shouldn’t resist.

Put your shoulder against the citification of the North. The Yukon has already collapsed into Whitehorse – three-quarters of that territory live in the capital. The NWT and Nunavut are trending that way, too. Meanwhile, small places are perishing. In the past generation, outposts like Reliance and Tungsten and Elsa and Umingmaktok have basically vanished from the map.
Not only are Northerners moving to Northern cities, but those cities are becoming more city-like. In the capitals, there’s a push to drive up density, by encouraging condos and highrises. Cabin culture is being killed. Doesn’t the world have enough effete urbanites? Does the North, too, need to become metrosexual? Can’t a case be made for the value of living immersed in wilderness?

In summary: Be Northern. Build a house out of town. Wear moosehide and sealskin. Park your car in your yard. Pee by the highway. Take your dog to work. Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em. Say “the Yukon” (What gutless bureaucrat dropped the “the”?). Jaywalk. Commute on your quad. Look people in the eye. Don’t shave – and ladies, that goes for you. Curse. Spit. Enter without knocking. Eat bannock, dry-meat and tea. Build campfires in your yard. Shop at the dump. Call the rest of world “Outside.” Kill your cellphone. Kill your dinner. And stop acting like a goddamn southerner.


Oh sure, I'll look all cockeyed at anyone that wants to be messin' with me internets (unless...you want to make it faster that is...), but regardless, reading this made my morning (or at least my hour).



In other news, I'm heading into Yellowknife for the next week (thank youuuuuuuu Department of Justice!) for courses and meetings, but I'm lugging along my laptop for the ride so I'll likely try and throw in an update or two.

Also...not that I'm saying I'm going to do this...but I will be staying in a hotel for the week...and hotels tend to have beds...big bouncy ones...ones that lend themselves nicely to being jumped on....not that I'm saying I would go and jump on a bed....I mean come on....that's pretty childish....but if I were to....that wouldn't be so bad.....would it?....hmm....

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Even Sadies have limits...

Earlier this week...


"You take one more *&$^@@% picture of me and I swear to god I'll..."

"You'll what Sadie? Come on, I'm just messing around...we're having a good time here!"

"Messing around...having a good time....yeah take one more picture and I'll show you a good time..."

...

*CLICK*
*snicker*



"THAT'S IT! IT'S GO TIME!!!"

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Hello truck winch...my old friend.



Hi winch. It's me, Alex.

I know we don't spend much time together. I swear I didn't plan for things to turn out like this. It was supposed to be so different! I had big plans for the 2 of us. You and me were gonna take on the world!
First, we'd haul ourselves out of a ditch or 2, then maybe help some poor shmuck on the side of the road...then who knows?? Well you know what, I know. I wrote these things down. Trip wires! Scaling buildings! Pulling children out of wells!
They're all on the list...

(Umm...you should probably just ignore that last item)

But yeah, you're right...nothing!!
For the first few months I just told people I didn't have a chance to use you yet, and they believed it. But now? Well now they're starting to question you. They says "ooh bet that thing doesn't even work does it?" and "Ha! Stupid winch! Ha!".
They just don't understand...

God, it seems like only yesterday when I first unwinded you across the parking lot at the band office. Heck, we were just kids back then! But what fun we had that day! You, slowly but steadily wirring away. Me, standing a clear and safe distance but smiling all the while. Ohh what a time it was to be a boy with his winch!

What do we do now?...

We wait. We wait together.

You just keep looking badass, and I'll take care of the rest...which is mainly just dusting the snow off of you and telling everyone I know that you exist.

I love you winch.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I would so take my dog to war with me

Why?

Sadie would jump on a grenade for me! At least I think that's why she's trying to prove to me...
video

P.S.
My voice only gets that shrill when I'm all excited and trying to get Sadie to do something. I think.

Friday, March 6, 2009

And the answer is...

For those of you who have been hard at work straining your eyes to figure out yesterday's magic eye...strain no longer! The answer is...


My shirt!

haha Good joke huh huh?

*ducks thrown shoe*
yikes!


Okay so maybe not the best joke ever.

We still cool?...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

and now for something different...

Few of you may know that I like to create those "Magic Eye" puzzles in my spare time. Here's one for you to check out!

(It's much easier if you click on the image for a full size version)

The answer will be posted tomorrow...good luck!

P.S.
The hint phrase is: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

I am no longer better than you


Smugness....slowly...fading...away!


No faithful readers, your eyes have not deceived you...I am now in possession of a dreaded cellular telephone!

Despite me trash-talking all those cell phone talkers for the past year (coincidentally, also the same amount of time passed since I was forced to give up my cell phone due to Rogers not acknowledging the existence of anything north of Fort McMurray...) I obtained a cell for work purposes. So while I can still claim superiority over regular cell phone slaves due to a work-requirement technicality...when it comes down to it I can't really hold my head all that high because a cell phone will be physically present on me most of the time.

I can already feel the needless everyday stresses from "the South" slowly creeping in on me...

What next? Having to pick up Sadie's poop?? YEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Staff meeting!

Greetings from the distant future!
Here in the month of March, the days will are longer, the temperature is ever so slightly more mild, and you now have less time to finally file those &%*$#@@ taxes!
(Note: This intro may have been much more mind-blowing and amazing if it had been posted...oh I dunno....3 weeks ago.)

Listen...blogosphere...I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm sorry. I know...I promised that we wouldn't get like this again, but it's tough! I've been busy! Hey yeah I KNOW it's been 3 weeks since an update. Don't you think this has been tough on me too? 3 weeks with not even a lick of (err...internet) recognition?? Yeah, it's not all about you...prick.



Hi readers, Alex here. Sorry you had to witness that.
But as you may already have figured out...I've been pretty slack on the update front. What have I been doing? Well, let me tell you!

For starters, work has actually picked up a bit, even requiring me to contribute several hours AFTER 5PM!! Huh? Nah, not many...like....3 hours maybe? What...that's busy to me!

We also had a cluster a basketball practices to make some final adjustments for the Yellowknife CAGER tournament that was held this past weekend....in Yellowknife! (gawrsh...magine that)
After another almost orgasmically pleasurable 7 hour trip (ON AN EFFIN SCHOOL BUS) from here to Yellowknife last Friday, we played 6 games over the course of 3 days and eventually we beat all the challengers and came out on top! Oh wait, actually there was this one team that beat us...and I guess it was in the final...so I guess technically you could say we finished in 2nd place. Hey I'm not going to apologize for my miswordings! Regardless, it was definitely a fun weekend, and we really came together as a team in the final couple of games. I don't want to start getting weepy (those tear stains are so damn stubborn!) but I'm really proud of all the guys on that team...I can't wait for next year!

Other than that I've still been getting outside with Sadie whenever possible...we've had a few days of supoib weather! With March new in full effect, I expect things to get even better. March is always one of my favourite months in the North...long days, still lots of snow, temperatures usually sit at a comfortable -15 or -20C. Sounds pretty sexy to me!
and yes...I do know that there is usually one more good cold snap in March...but even still, quit your hating on March!
A couple of shots from getting out snowshoeing:



and when regular hikes aren't cutting it for getting Sadie tired out...I like to encourage her to track down and attack bystanders:


Also, I've taken to wearing my glasses much more often (see: NOT 24 hours a day) as opposed to my contacts. I've really been enjoying the new found level of assumed intellect and importance that wearing my glasses in public has given me. I think that if ever some day in the future I get corrective eye surgery, I'll still wear around glasses with the lenses taken out just so people will assume I am smart. What? Until someone else has a better idea of how to make people think you're smart, I see no other alternatives.
The one problem I've noticed with wearing glasses in the North is the near constant fogging/defogging of the lenses... and it's especially problematic when out at night. Check out my sexy:

Sorry.
You're right, it does suck throwing up in your mouth.

So other things have been happening...but I'm having trouble remembering them. Ooh that's right, if you're wondering about the post title...I kinda feel like doing these blog updates are like staff meetings at work. If you don't hold them often and consistently, they keep getting pushed back further and further until everyone absolutely dreads them and forgets all those little things they wanted to mention. And then everyone gets all bitter about everything and you don't even get muffins or fresh fruit to snack on and you only get coffee...but what the hell? There's always coffee available! How is this special from any other day? I want my muffins dammit!!


So yeah, like I was saying...just like staff meetings.