Thursday, April 30, 2009

SPRING BLOWOUT BONANZA! We are overstocked with blog items! Everything must go!


Okay so maybe a bit over dramatic...but the point is that I've been a bad blogger as of late. Not in a "I'm a baaaad little blogger. Ain't I just adorable?" kind of way (disturbing, I know), but rather that I haven't had the time and/or motivation to make an effort. Lots to talk about though...and some of it doesn't even have to do with dogs!
But now that you mention it (remember: my blog, I make the truth), I still have been dogsitting. And those two have still been getting freeeeeeeeeaaaaakaaaaaayyy:

I'm not what I interrupted...and to be honest I don't really want to know...but Sam's exploration into different positions is starting to frighten me.

Ah shoot, I know I said this wasn't going to be all about dogs...but now that we've opened that proverbial doggie door...DOG SHOW!



Of course all this fun out with the dogs in the warm weather isn't without its unpleasantness. Take for instance the golf course, which has been a favourite spot of doggie activities for the past 6 months, is now losing its luster. Imagine a world, if you may, when our alien overlords force us to walk endlessly in knee deep water and slush...horrifying!
I suppose it might look something like this:


This is in addition to the regular Fort Simpson hazards...such as having to make sure a plane isn't about to land on you. Unfortunately (or fortunately...depending on how to look at it) this is an actual possibility in Fort Simpson:


(I look at this as a good thing...cause man, if I gotta go...whatta way to go!)

And now for the real reason I actually updated...fire!


Luckily this was just a regular brush fire in the field in the middle of town...dems is big ol' flames though eh!

Speaking of fires...did any other Bluenose Bloggers see in the news about that fire in Halifax (or Spryfield to be more precise) yesterday? Dammmmmmmn!

Although I think the picture about 3/4 down in that story may be just a taaad misleading of how close the fire was to downtown Halifax.

Anywho, I'm gearing up for a busy weekend. I'm actually moving to a new residence tomorrow, or at least that's what I've been telling people. My next move is to actually pack. And then to actually clean. But in actuality, I've done nothing of these actual tasks.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

If I could tuuuuuuuuuurn baaaaack timmmeeee.....

I would....go back in time to when I was living in McPherson and dog sitting like it was my J-O-B? Well, not quite, but I am having a slight relapse as I am dog sitting for the next couple of weeks.
What you say? You want pictures!? Well I never have been one to shy away from requests that I have made to myself:

His name is Sam. What he doesn't know is that he is really a girl and I'm playing a dirty trick on him! I...LOVE....DAWWWWWWWWWWGS!

...

Sorry about that. It's in my contract that anytime I have a shot at referencing the "Dog Show" skit I'm obligated to do so.

But seriously, his name is Sam. I think I will call him Samuel T. Bottomsworth though. More fitting, don't you think?

I love having him around, if for no other reason that it makes Sadie happy. They play all day together, I take them out for a run after work, and then they're unofficially-no wait, officially exhausted for the rest of the night after that.
I think I need to set some house rules with those 2 though...they have....things....they do.
Like when I came home from basketball last night I could hear all this weird moaning and groaning coming from my room, so naturally, I ran upstairs to see what the deal was. (It was a pure coincidence that I also had my camera ready...I swear! Damn, this makes me look creepy doesn't it.)

They do this odd making out (or at least that's what it looks like to me. I'm not a dog...how should I know what they're doing?? Maybe it's how they make babies...) where she opens her mouth all the way and then he goes to town licking and and pawing away at the inside of it. To make it even lustier, both of them groan the whole time like a couple of Wookies. It's weird.

But hey, whatever gets you to sleep at night I suppose.

Speaking of which, how the hell did I get stuck sharing my bed at night with two 60lbs+ dogs? And during shedding season at that?
If only someone would take control of the situation...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

One step up from Kinder Surprises...

So I think it's safe to say I'm anything BUT a collector. Never had the patience or the money for some thing like that. I can remember my basketball card collection as a kid...and it was pretty crummy. Same with my comic book collection. That being said, I think if I were to get into collecting something as an adult (whenever that time comes...) it would be Bosson Heads!



Not exactly the most exotic of items...but they hold a certain sentimental value for me because I always remember seeing several of them hanging over the doorway at my late grandparents' house as a kid. When my granddad passed away last summer (my grammy passed away several years ago) and I was asked if there was any items from his place that I would like, the Bosson Heads instantly stuck out in my mind.
Funnily enough though, these same things stuck out in the mind of my sister as well, so we decided that we'd each take just one or two.
There's literally dozens if not hundreds of different heads out there you can find, some much more rare.
I guess to some it might be kinda creepy that I have them hanging up on my wall beside my bed...but hey, if you're not comfortable with having a stereotypical Scotsman and a guy in a Sou'wester watching you while you sleep, I'd argue that you have some serious issues! Yeah that's right, not me...you.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Oh you showed up at 3pm Mountain Time Zone? Sorry but we go by Cairo Time Zone in this office...

Problem: I need to renew my vehicle registration.

Now I've had trouble trying to get into these government type offices before due to their wonky office hours trying to get my license renewed or things of that type, but I figured as long as I went after 10am and before 4pm, and NOT from 12pm to 1pm I would be okay.

So I went to the local Dept. of Transport office to renew it today, only to be told that the Motor Vehicles Registration is closed today.

So I was all "Whaaaaaaaaaaat" and the women kinda gave me a head-tilted-slowly-spoken "Yeaaaaaaaaaaah...", which only left me more confused.
I asked her when it would be open and she thought it might be open 1-4pm on Wednesday.

"That's it?!?", I responded.

"Oh no", she said, "it's also open all day Friday."

"Buuuuuut today is Friday. And it's not open."

"Yeah.....it's not open today." (Followed with a grinning smile of course)

A brief but non-confrontational stare off ensued for the next 15 seconds until I slowly backed out the door.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: WHAT THE GUHHHH"

Does that make sense to anyone else?

The city of romance, and frostbitten genitals...

As mentioned in the last post, I spent most of last week/weekend in Yellowknife.
"duhhhhh WHY" you may ask?
Excellent question! Really creative of you.

Well unfortunately, the answer isn't all that exciting...though it is heartwarming and predictable. I went in to spend time with my girlfriend...and to watch some hockey.
(ha! I saw the look on your face there. You were about to be all *insert whip noise here* but then you felt all stupid because I also watched some hockey.)

I'm sure everyone from Yellowknife was already well aware of the huge First Air Hockey Tournament taking place there last weekend...but for those who live their lives a bit less "city" (can also be pronounced "shitty"...ha I keeeeed) it's basically a big tourny with 20-some teams from all over the NWT and Nunavut. These teams are spread across something like 5 different divisions (aka skill levels) because...well come on, the population of the entire NWT and Nunavut combined is equivalent to about the population of the city of Dartmouth in Nova Scotia. There just can't be THAT many high level hockey players here.

Fort Simpson entered 2 teams, one in the "A" division and one in the "E" division. Both seemed to have a lot of fun (hahaha I KNOW, is there any lamer of a response in sports to the question: "So how did they do?"). But seriously, the players on the "E" team were there more for a good time. The "A" team, however, had strictly stated from the beginning that there was no fun to be had that weekend, and it showed as they made it all the way to the finals! Buuuuut sure enough, in what seems to be a recent trend (HS bball team, my bball team, and now the hockey team)....they lost in the final.
Ah Fort Simpson...always a bridesmaid, never a bride. *sigh*

Beside the hockey watching, my gf and I ate out lots (as per usual), went out for drinks a couple of times, and took advantage of the ever improving spring weather:

*cue studio audience response here*

Okay I'll admit, it doesn't appear very warm and spring-like in that picture. But as you may have been informed of before: a picture tells a thousand words. Now I'm going to inform you that a few of those words are "warm" and "spring-like".
You're welcome.

It's going to feel weird actually spending a full weekend here in Fort Simpson...not that I have become a Simpson hater, no no. I'm actually looking forward to it. But even still, a weekend without Tim Hortons is like a weekend without...ummmm....LIBERTY.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

RIP Alex...


Juuuuuuust kidding! Despite the rumors, I did not succumb to my injuries from last week...but unfortunately my motivation to update did pass away from internal bleeding.

I have lots to update about, but I've been quite busy. I was in Yellowknife again for another 6 days last week (AGAIN. I KNOW. YEAH. YOU AND ME BOTH. HERE HERE.) and got back to Simpson just on Monday. I know what you're thinking (I have powers!) and no, I'm not moving to Yellowknife anytime soon. Or at least not willingly. A potato sack over my head and a sharp jabby stick in my back to quit my yappin'and start walking could influence me otherwise though.

I also know what you're thinking now: WHAT THE

I guess what I'm trying to explain is that I've been a tad busy but I will update soon!

Monday, April 6, 2009

One step closer to looking badass...


Ola folks,
I have returned from yet another eventful trip to the glamorous metropolis of Yellowknife.
It was a weekend of cheers, jeers, floods and blood!

Although we entered the basketball tournament as a relative wild card in regards to our chances at winning, we quickly became the team to beat. Once the dust had settled from the round robin play and the first round of the playoffs, we had amassed a sparkling record of 5-0.
The finals...in which we, The Dehcho Bannock Boys aka Fort Simpson, played the Up Here Mavs, started out much the same with us gaining a quick lead and leading by about 15 points nearing the end of the 3rd quarter. (Horrible sentence structure, I know)
Then, with a few minutes left in the quarter I drove through the lane and as I went to go up (see: EXPLODE WITH ROCKET-LIKE FORCE) I unfortunately came into contact with the chin of an opposing player.
(What? You want sound effects? Ohh I dunno...how about: KERRRRRSHMUCK!)
We both came out of the collision worse for the wear, with me splitting open the top of my head and quickly gaining the problem of having a leaky head. Attempts were made to stop or possibly slow down the bleeding with not much luck.
I eventually got back into the game with a couple of minutes left but alas, we were down several points by then and no attempts made by myself or my teammates to be the hero were successful.

I think the scene afterward could best be summed up by the Rolling Stones:

You can't always get what you want,
But if you try sometimes
You just might find
You'll end up with a split open head and a 2nd place finish


At least I think that's how that song goes.

Anywho getting back to me ('bout time right!? I KNOW)...against my wishes I was escorted to the hospital (I only agreed because I was dehydrated...and hungry...and doing all that complaining was taking a lot out of me) by my lovely girlfriend. After getting quickly assessed by the nurse it was decided that I would need stitches, and of course that also meant I would be spending the next several hours waiting in the Stanton Hospital waiting room. As mentioned, I was fortunate to have someone with me who made the time pass by quickly, and also was there to satisfy my ego by taking glamour shots of my wounds and sadness once I had been cleaned up a bit. Lemme explain for you.

This:

Leads to this:


While this:


Obviously leads to this:

aka awwwwwwwwww yeaaaaaaah

The nurse also tried jabbed me with some needles, asking a bunch of questions and claiming something about likely needing a tetanus shot. Even though I should likely have taken great offense to this stranger pointing out inadequacies in my immune system, I'll be honest with you, I didn't do much more than repeat back to her what she was saying to me with the key exception being that I raised my voice ever so slightly to insinuate I was asking a question. She seemed pleased by my responses and continued with the jabbing of the needle.
After that, my head leaked out a bit more blood and then I was on my way to go eat some Chinese food.

Annnnnnnnnnd that my friends, was baby Alex's first Yellowknife Emergency Room trip. Yay!


There was also some insane puddles/ponds/lakes scattered throughout YK which was a lot of fun for me because my truck fit right in with the muddy appearance of the rest of the city. But that doesn't really involve me all that much...and pretty much everyone in the city likely had a similar experience...so you probably don't care about that all that much, right?...

*sigh*
Okay, NO, I don't know where else on the internet you could find out more about the puddles in Yellowknife.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I got a basketball jones oh baby oheeeeeoooooooh

So I'm heading to Yellowknife again this weekend...I know I know: who's side are you on anyway, traitor, and stay there!
I have been going there lots I will admit...but this weekend my pride is on the line!
There's the Arctic Shootout Basketball Tournament taking place all weekend, so a few of us Simpsonites are entering a team. Not quite sure what to expect, but I hear there's some good players in YK. Or maybe that's just big city propaganda trying to discourage us small towners who don't know much 'nout no nothin'...so many variables to consider!
We have a game tonight at 8pm at the St. Pat's school, and then 3 more games tomorrow, and then a possibility of 1 or 2 more games on Sunday. This...will...be...unnnnnnnnnnnnnnpleasant! I haven't played in a bball tournament in a few years, and my current trend of playing twice a week won't quite leave me prepared me thinks...
So if you see an update on Sunday that consists of some meager whimpering and a few words of pity-inducing nonsense...you'll know why!

Now, here's a picture of my wild, savage, came-here-to-kick-ass-and-chew-bubble-gum-but-she's-all-outta-bubble-gum, bush-raised dog.
FEAR HER!

(I think an appropriate caption would be..."rawr")