Saturday, February 12, 2011

The New and Old Adventures of Alexander B.


Alexander B.,
Took a pee,
In the northwestern sea,
Indubidibleeeeeheeheeeheeeeeeeee!


MOMMMMM! HE SAID IT AGAIN!!!!! YEAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!


Ah...childhood memories.


Hello again internet world. Or, more specifically, fellow bloggers.
My it has been a while since we've been in touch. Too long? Or not long enough some may say?
Some.
Some jerks may say that.


Well let me get us started again in the right direction: I'm sorry!
But you couldn't have been that mad at me. After all, thanks to a quick check of the internet traffic stats on this blog, I can see that I'm still receiving a steady stream a traffic from the usual sources: friends' blogs, the odd google search for "Fort Simpson", and of course everyone's go-to site for getting pregnant fast.

wait...sorry what did you say that last one was?...

Oh that one? Why I'm talking about How to Get Pregnants Fast of course!

But then you probably already knew that.

(Sidebar: You really should go read that site...it's an entertaining read if nothing else. AND educational!)


I'd love to flat out lie and say that I've been a blog absentee for reasons out of my control...but nah, I'm just lazy. That's right. L-A-Z...ah fuck it I'll finish that later.


If I WAS going to blame it on something though, I think it'd have to be me. Actually, make that my body. Where do I start?
Oh right, I know: I THINK I AM GETTING THE OLD!

That's right people, OLD. No, unfortunately I'm not referring to an Oldsmobile. I'm talking aging. The great equalizer. Father Time. Mortality. Senescence. Ugh.
Ok quick disclosure: I'm actually only 26. (unless I was lied to...HEY MOM? WE NEED TO TALK)
But over the past 6 months I've encountered a string of minor injuries and nagging pains that have led me to the conclusion that getting older sucks for your body. Back in October, I was playing basketball in Yellowknife, and somehow I dislocated my pinkie finger on my right hand. After a quick...umm...re...location(?) by a random guy that was standing inconspicuously in the corner of the gym, I was back on my way. I thought that with some ice, and avoiding basketball for a couple of weeks I'd be back on my way to having the most bitchin' pinkie finger this side of Ecum Secum. Now, almost 4 months later, I'm still stuck with this mangled-eww don't touch me-my germs-one millllllllion dollars-evil pinkie finger.
I've already had it looked at by a few different doctors and nurses, but really the best answer I've got so far is "hmm...surgery might help...but it might not". Not very promising. Nyaaa, now see here you:


Follow that up by me attempting to go skiing, falling hard on my ass, and consequently spraining my left thumb. That was about a month ago, but it still isn't right again either. (I've learned to drop the part of that last story where I tell people I was cross-country skiing. As in on flat ground. Yeah, I know. *hangs head in shame*)
Compound all this with a bizarre abundance of jars and containers that for some reason need to be opened by me at home and at work, and looks of disappointment from those who would have me open them only to see me struggle. It sucks.
I'm having several other issues with back pain and my shoulder dislocating as well....but really, despite my desire (LUST) to just want to bitch about all of this, I think it all is just a wake up call that I need to start taking better care of myself in ways other than just exercise and producing needlessly long sentences.


zzz....huh? Wha? You're still talking? Holy frig man, what's your point in all this??!

I'M GETTING TO IT! YEAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!! I'M SO ANGRY I COULD JUST OPEN THIS HERE JAR AND EAT SOME PICKLES.....

...

@#$*

....

&@#!!!!!! DAMN THESE TIGHTLY CLOSED JARS! YEAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!


*ahem*
Sorry about that.


Anyway, I think I feel better overall when I'm actively writing on my blog. Perhaps it just adds to my overall sense of VITALITY! INTERNAL ENERGY! OVERALL BETTER SENSE OF WELLBEING!

Why yes, I did recently purchase a Q-Ring bracelet! Why do you ask?...

So in summary, behold, as I attempt to actively blog again.


/I don't have a mustache right now...sorry
//NOT an actual Q-Ring wearer. Nor do I have plans to become one.
///Slashies!!!!

7 comments:

SusiePoosie said...

HOLY EXCUSES BATMAN!

Megan said...

So what you're saying is

1) A Get Pregnant Fast site is linking to you. Are you suddenly an expert on this topic? I don't see the connection.

2) YET AGAIN YOU HAVE COME TO YELLOWKNIFE WITHOUT CALLING ME FOR COFFEE.

Excuses, excuses.

Meandering Michael said...

Megan, if it makes you feel any better, I'll go to Fort Simpson next week and not give Alex a call to go out for coffee. I wouldn't want to "get pregnants fast"...

Megan said...

It's only fair. In fact, I think you should avoid ALL bald men, just in case he tries to sneak up on you and spend time with you against your will.

Alex said...

whoa whoa whoa....whoa.
Isn't it a BIT of a stretch to go from purposely ignoring me to identifying me as a predator? HMMMMMMMMM?

Meandering Michael said...

Changing the topic... My doctor called me in the other day because he wanted to check my toe. He was concerned that part of the tendon had become separated. What he was looking for looks JUST LIKE your pinky finger. When the tendon becomes separated from the bone it pulls back and the digit in question hammers down like yours appears to be in the picture.

Not something that will repair itself properly, I imagine.

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