Sunday, June 19, 2011

My umm...alarm didn't go off...

Oh, hi there everyone. Sorry I'm late. Now I know some of you "dislikers" (to be a "hater" is a bit strong choice of word isn't it?) are going to want to focus on how inconsistent I am, and perhaps be wondering if I have some crazy reason(s) for my absence. Welllllllllllllll no. None of that. And for the record...IRL...I'm the king of consistency. I am a rock of reliability. No wait, I am THE ROCK. That's right, I'm Dwayne Johnson! I've been posing as a physically unimpressive 20-something white guy who resides in the Northwest Territories! Ha! And you believed me! LOLOLOLOLOL (make that a raised eyebrow "LOLOLOL").

There. Now that we have that out of the way...let's move on. (boy that excuse-paragraph really got out of hand)

Since everyone loves recap posts...let's dive right in to one shall we? (Actually I can't confirm that other people like them...I like making them because it gives the impression that my life is WILD PURE UNADULTERATED EXCITEMENT ALL THE TIME...buuuuut in truth it falls somewhere else in the spectrum. The "WILD PURE UNADULTERATED EXCITEMENT ALL THE TIME Spectrum" that is.

I'm still living in Fort Simpson.

I still only have....2 dogs.

I am having the best summer....OF ALL TIME! (yo other summers, I really like you, and imma let you finish, but...etc etc etc)

and...uhh...ok so this was a bit misleading. But I DO have lots of pictures in which to distribute in time. When they reach you, please pass them around in a timely manner. JONATHAN I SAW THAT. Then I want everyone to ask 1 question each. If you do it, we'll go for 1 extra water break on Friday afternoon! Jonathan...JONATHAN. Thank you.



(in case you can't feels awesome to finally post again!) WEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Baby go bar?

Here's something I came across a few days ago and I've been noticing it has got a bit of recognition across the interwebs as of late. If anyone knows what the nature of my work is then they may be slightly surprised that I find this video so hilarious...but watch it yourself and I think you'll agree that it's AT LEAST chortle worthy (or perhaps a "titter" if that's more your style?):

That being said...there's still something oddly disturbing about the scene as well. So I don't know whether I should hate myself for laughing or I should hate myself for hating myself for laughing. For now I'll just continue to not hate myself until I receive more conclusive evidence.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Continuing with my theme of fitness/health related posts, I'd like to encourage everyone who feels that behaviours can be shaped through tax policies to take in the following. It's a link to an initiative for the creation of an Adult Fitness Tax Credit, much like the already in existence Child Fitness Tax Credit. If you have a minute, take a look and submit an e-postcard to your local MP:

Adult Fitness Tax Credit

Who knows if it would actually make any sort of a difference, but hey, I don't qualify for many tax credits (you'll have to pry the Northern Resident Tax Benefit from my cold, frost-bitten hands) so I'm all for any additional ones, especially when it's for an issue I strongly support.
I'm still amazed at how many able-bodied adults perform absolutely no exercise as part of their day or even their week. I'm not saying everyone should be out running marathons, but nothing at all? I mean COME ON

< /rant >

Tuesday, February 15, 2011're "that" guy

So after much biatchin' on my part, I've started trying to do something about all my aches and pains.

So you mean you've cut alcohol, candy, and deep fried foods out of your diet?

Huh? Wuh? Good god no. I'm taking more pills and powders of course!

Let's see...I've got Vitamin D, Glucosamine, multivitamin, Omega 3/6/9, glutamine, Bailey's (I keed I keed!), creatine, and whey isolate protein. Phew!

Now taking pills isn't my favourite thing in the world to do (for the record: Crazy Carpets!), but I've now completed 3 days of my new intake of supplements. I'm thinking that if I DO experience an immediate life altering change in my health it'll mainly be the result of a placebo effect, but hey, what's the harm? (If you just said "ummm wasted money is the harm", you can leave now)
I've been taking protein and glutamine for years, and off and on taking creatine, but the rest of these mysterious and mystical pills are all very new to me.

Anyone have any positive/negative experiences in which to share?

(and a heads up in case anyone was planning on trying to convince me to begin drinking my own urine...yeah I'm not going to do that. Umm, unless that worked really well for a friend of a friend of yours. Otherwise...there is NO WAY you're getting me to do that. Again.)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Getting from point A to point B just got a whole lot sexier...


I'm not sure if this really qualifies as "something new" anymore or not...but almost 2 months ago I made the hard/difficult/trivial/EASY decision of putting my old truck out to pasture (you do know that means KILLING IT don't you?? Sorry to ruin your childhood.) by utilizing Ford's Recycle Your Ride program.

I was a hardcore believer in the notion that I had no use for fancy options such as "reliability" or the frivolous ones such as "working heat". Notice I said WAS. Now? Hooooooo boy gimme the goods! I may have got one or 2 options that may have questionable practicality...but overall it's a bitchin' truck. I really like it. I love it. Actually can I tell you something? I'm going to marry it. Ceremony and everything. Make it official. Uh huh.

**Editor's note: don't hate on Alex's unorthodox love interests. Expand your mind. Stop being such a square.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The New and Old Adventures of Alexander B.

Alexander B.,
Took a pee,
In the northwestern sea,


Ah...childhood memories.

Hello again internet world. Or, more specifically, fellow bloggers.
My it has been a while since we've been in touch. Too long? Or not long enough some may say?
Some jerks may say that.

Well let me get us started again in the right direction: I'm sorry!
But you couldn't have been that mad at me. After all, thanks to a quick check of the internet traffic stats on this blog, I can see that I'm still receiving a steady stream a traffic from the usual sources: friends' blogs, the odd google search for "Fort Simpson", and of course everyone's go-to site for getting pregnant fast.

wait...sorry what did you say that last one was?...

Oh that one? Why I'm talking about How to Get Pregnants Fast of course!

But then you probably already knew that.

(Sidebar: You really should go read that's an entertaining read if nothing else. AND educational!)

I'd love to flat out lie and say that I've been a blog absentee for reasons out of my control...but nah, I'm just lazy. That's right. L-A-Z...ah fuck it I'll finish that later.

If I WAS going to blame it on something though, I think it'd have to be me. Actually, make that my body. Where do I start?

That's right people, OLD. No, unfortunately I'm not referring to an Oldsmobile. I'm talking aging. The great equalizer. Father Time. Mortality. Senescence. Ugh.
Ok quick disclosure: I'm actually only 26. (unless I was lied to...HEY MOM? WE NEED TO TALK)
But over the past 6 months I've encountered a string of minor injuries and nagging pains that have led me to the conclusion that getting older sucks for your body. Back in October, I was playing basketball in Yellowknife, and somehow I dislocated my pinkie finger on my right hand. After a by a random guy that was standing inconspicuously in the corner of the gym, I was back on my way. I thought that with some ice, and avoiding basketball for a couple of weeks I'd be back on my way to having the most bitchin' pinkie finger this side of Ecum Secum. Now, almost 4 months later, I'm still stuck with this mangled-eww don't touch me-my germs-one millllllllion dollars-evil pinkie finger.
I've already had it looked at by a few different doctors and nurses, but really the best answer I've got so far is " might help...but it might not". Not very promising. Nyaaa, now see here you:

Follow that up by me attempting to go skiing, falling hard on my ass, and consequently spraining my left thumb. That was about a month ago, but it still isn't right again either. (I've learned to drop the part of that last story where I tell people I was cross-country skiing. As in on flat ground. Yeah, I know. *hangs head in shame*)
Compound all this with a bizarre abundance of jars and containers that for some reason need to be opened by me at home and at work, and looks of disappointment from those who would have me open them only to see me struggle. It sucks.
I'm having several other issues with back pain and my shoulder dislocating as well....but really, despite my desire (LUST) to just want to bitch about all of this, I think it all is just a wake up call that I need to start taking better care of myself in ways other than just exercise and producing needlessly long sentences.

zzz....huh? Wha? You're still talking? Holy frig man, what's your point in all this??!






Sorry about that.

Anyway, I think I feel better overall when I'm actively writing on my blog. Perhaps it just adds to my overall sense of VITALITY! INTERNAL ENERGY! OVERALL BETTER SENSE OF WELLBEING!

Why yes, I did recently purchase a Q-Ring bracelet! Why do you ask?...

So in summary, behold, as I attempt to actively blog again.

/I don't have a mustache right now...sorry
//NOT an actual Q-Ring wearer. Nor do I have plans to become one.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

4 wheels bad...2 legs good!

I know I know, imagine that, it got cold in the Northwest Territories in the winter! Blah blah, the presses, stop them, etc...


This is actually a cold snap of sorts. Weather Canada even told me so! (the added an adorable asterisk beside the weather this nyeaaah)
There's been some biatchin' around the island from people about it finally getting cold cold, but I gotta say, so far it has been awesome. There's a lot of things I forget about the winter until I'm actually immersed in it again:
The creaking and cracking of the trees, my eyelids freezing together (sometimes painful, usually fun), the front door freezing shut, etc etc etc

Side note: While my front door was able to withstand my barrage of kicks and screams, my front window did not. What a joke that window was! Only took 2 swears and one kick to break it! I should clarify that one of the swears was prior to the kick, with the second following immediately after said kick.

But seriously folks, we're having fun here.

There's something about the cold winter air that really drives me and gives me a new energy about being outside.
Wanna know what doesn't drive me in the winter? My *&%^#$@ truck! That cheeky monkey is all:

and then I'm all:
"I'm walking everywhere."

I gotta say, pretty much the only thing keeping my alive during my life-endangering, 3 block walk to work (I KNOW RIGHT) is my ultra-enviable levels of testosterone as

See that? Even wolves cuddle up close to me for protection. WOLVES PEOPLE. WOLVES.

But even more seriously folks, did you really think you were gonna make it through this whole month without having to stomach some shots of my Mo'? For shame, anonymous reader, for shame.

Friday, November 19, 2010

New laptops = Life is great!

I can't really justify the purchase of my new laptop (besides pure unadulterated raw gaming bliss which I may have or have not received in the mail on Friday) but this weekend is gonna be AWESOME.

Lemme 'splain it for you:
-Community Bazaar
-Massive community dog walk (more to come)
-UFC watching (don't hate on me)
-Did I mention that I purchased a NEW LAPTOP?!?!?! (ASUS G73 to be precise)

This is gonna be great.